Sunday, January 13

2 Kinds of Casual Partners

Please don't judge me. I'm not a book, and you're not a judge. haha

You might think i'm a nymphomaniac, but I assure you I am the most decent, virginal creature you'll ever meet. Char.

Well since i'm in the right age and assuming you are too, i guess it's totally fine to share some of the data I gathered throughout the years of my sexual experiments. (yes i did it for science and educational purposes only).

As you embark on your own adventure, you will be meeting some of these characters. Sila ang magbibigay kulay at trauma sa iyong mga sexual ganap. Kaya I think it's better to be well-oriented and prepared.

Remember, sex is not all rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it's like an early morning rush-hour pila sa MRT. Haggard at stressful.

The Hoarder - They hoard just about everything. Yung free hotel food, yung electric sockets, the towels, the soap and even your space in the bed. Yung tipong after your tiring activity eh pag natulog, he's got all the pillows and blanket and sakop ang buong bed. Really annoying.

The Dictator - These are the controlling types. They want it, you do it, and you'll do it the exact way they want it to be done. Kesehodang mag back flip ka dyan. You'll enjoy their company if you're the passive type, pero kung hindi, you'll find the demands annoying and degrading.

The Phantom - Not very common, but they're really interesting. These are the ones na not a hundred percent confident with their assets. They prefer total darkness, yung tipong kahit small blinking light coming out of your phone ay nasisilaw sya. May sikreto kasi silang tinatago kaya ganun. Try to understand and utilize your other senses (sense of smell probably hahaha).
The Performer - the total opposite of the Phantom. Kinda scary and creepy if you ask me. They want to be the star of the show. Kung pwedeng mag avail ng spotlight, i aavail nya yan for sure with matching dvd souvenir ng inyong ganap. Yung mga tipong pag labas ng shower eh, may naka prepare pala na dance number sabay wagayway ng towel. Eksena lang.

The Cadaver - From start to finish, you'll do everything. They will just lay there, motionless. Sometimes you'll have to stop just to check if they're still conscious.

The Critique - either they will make you or break you. Yung talagang may comment sya about your performance. Kulang na lang bigyan ka ng grade or tatakan ka ng star sa noo. Kinda annoying specially if they like to compare you to specific people. Di mo maiiwasang mag taas kilay minsan.

The Paranoid - I'm guilty of this. What if he's got herpes. OMG i swallowed it, i'm gonna die soon!! NOOO!!!! I want cheetos, Oh Gosh i think i'm pregnant!

The Sniper - Surprise surprise. They'll shoot you when you least expect it. HAHAHA

The Injured - The most physically sensitive types. Sensitive not only on "those" spots but everywhere else. Don't touch me there, be careful there, that hurts, stop, STAAAHP!

The One-man team - The selfish-OC type. If they don't like what you're doing or they if they think they can do it better, they'll just do it themselves. Sometimes you'll wonder what the hell are you doing there in the first place. Spectator siguro.

The Baby - These are the needy types. They need ample amount of cuddling before and after. They kinda bring out the maternal instincts within you. They sleep in fetal position.

Those are the common kinds that I have encountered so far.

I assure you my fellow countrymen and women, that my research will not end here.

To infinity and beyond! :)


  1. Funny post! And good point! You will surely need lots of luck on finding a normal casual partner in this day and age lol

  2. Winner, more more jade hehe!


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