2 BAKLANG DARNA and OTHER USELESS THINGS

Just to be clear.

Girls, by USELESS, I am not referring to your ex boyfriends (or current ones)

Boys, I am also not referring to your ex girlfriends........................................    or boyfriends (",)

nor we are going to discuss about the traffic enforcer who does nothing but to collect super dark boogers after hours of "chillin" in the middle of the road. No.

I am thinkin' more of INANIMATE (life-less) things. like this:

http://talakayanatkalusugan.com

LOL. Just kidding. I love the government as much as i love rainbows and butterflies. I love it so much it hurts.

Well, to continue, i decided to compile a list of everyday things that we use or encounter that "in substance" are actually useless, redundant or simply, things that we can live without.

First in my list:

Elevator Close buttons

http://architectures.danlockton.co.uk

We are naturally controlling. We like to see things move or do its trick as we push a specific button. Its human nature. Elevator buttons actually don't work. If you will observe, the time for an elevator to close on its own compared to you pushing that button is the same. So whenever you're running late, the only benefit of overpressing this button is to release your stress or to give you that ultimate satisfaction of closing the elevator doors in the office bitch's face.

Also, since the American disabilities act, all elevator close buttons have been disabled. So unless you're in Japan (where these buttons actually work) there's really no point in pressing it.


signature campaigns

http://pinoyweekly.org

I can't remember the last time i signed up for one of these. If i did, i bet it's because of peer pressure, additional credits in school or if there's a hottie in the signing booth. But have you ever wondered what happens after they gathered a gazillion signatures? I don't think they go far. Signatures are only gathered to get an initiative. I say it does something, but not enough.

also, if these things really works, do you think terrorists will go out of their way to bomb stuffs including themselves just to prove a point or to get what they want? And if it does work, i'll probably start asking for signatures to ban Marian Rivera from exposing her nostrils on national TV (di maka move on??! LOL).

Cigarette Filters

http://www.hiwtc.com

This is one way smokers make themselves believe they still take care of their health. c'mon!
I use to smoke, and i tell you, these things are bullcrap. They don't work and they only filter, like 1% of the total deadly things from the cigarette. Using it is actually gross. Most packages say you can use a piece for up to a 100 or more cigarettes but use it for the first it becomes yellow, for a few more and it's almost black. I bet it's more dangerous to use these repeatedly since it accumulates gross stuff inside. You wanna live clean, stop fooling yourself by filtering, and stop smoking altogether.

PS. i haven't really stopped. but i'm already smoke free for quite some time now.

Facebook poke button

http://articles.businessinsider.com

I believe many of you will agree with me that Mark Zuckerberg should just replace this with, PUNCH, KICK-IN-THE-BALLS, or TORRID-KISS buttons. Right? Poking is effective in real life, and it depends which part you poke, and how many times you poked it. But in facebook? Spell Lame. 

If you like someone, and you wanna get their attention, LIKE their E-V-E-R-Y status, photos and links. i'm sure, they'll get your message

Tonsils

http://fauquierent.blogspot.com

It is weird knowing one of your body parts will be taken away from you and will be mixed in Adobo or something. choz. but from what i heard, many people nowadays are getting rid of their Tonsils. They say that like the appendix, it doesn't really have a function in the body, and instead it is a common cause for tonsillitis and infections since it becomes a chillspot for bacteria and viruses.

Bendable straws

http://www.waltsense.com

Let us close our eyes and imagine ourselves drinking with a bendable straw. I'll bet my pwet that the tip of the straw is pointing upwards, not unless you are holding the glass higher than your head or mouth which is stupid. Then, what is the purpose of the straw being bendable?

I know I know! so you can drink from your glass without tilting your head! yeah that's basically it.

Playing card jokers

http://www.altacarta.com

I don't think i need to explain further. I'm not sure about the history behind this but i don't think the joke is funny. Pag picture siguro ni derek ang nilagay baka pati nanay mo isugal mo na din! Pak!

Statement bag tags

sulit.com

I find these as one of the most stupid things ever. Really if i'm going to steal someones bag, a tag saying "sorry, not yours" will never ever stop me. I'll probably leave the owner a note saying "it's mine now, bitch".

Brief Pockets

http://www.e-modusvivendi.com

Guys, have you ever imagined paying the jeepney with all your precious coins hanging out with your other precious treasures? or maybe trying to tip the waiter or bouncer with your hard earned cash, with your other hard- earned? LOL. I don't think that's a pretty sight. Unless you want these: "kuya penge nga pong barya! Now na!"

http://pinoypundit.blogspot.com

And lastly,

Si Ding

http://www.writeups.org

Time and time again, one of our local heroine (if not the only one) proves that she is in fact a DIVA. Seriously, would you risk the safety of the country by entrusting the "bato" to a snotty kid, just because you don't want the burden of carrying it with you? Panu kung nagdota sya? what will be the faith of the pinoys?

and if i were Ding, BAKIT KO PA IBABALIK ANG BATO??! Finder's keepers noh! haha

http://epbites.blogspot.com

Hope you enjoyed reading. feel free to share and COMMENT. mga letche basa lang ng basa. hehehe. tsup mwah gangbang!

4 Where's the party in Party Pilipinas?

Seriously? Where?

This is one of those rare sundays where i just stay at home without taking a shower until the late afternoon. In short, it's a "petiks" mode sunday. In times like this, i turn to ASAP for a bit of a hype, but today proves to be different. Thank you Nonito Donaire for stealing the spotlight, because of you, i was forced to watch that putrid show Party Pilipinas. (PS, you will never be as good as Manny Pacquiao, but it's ok since you're not as jologs and you have accent).

to all Kapuso reading this, sorry to break your hearts but i really hate PP.

Okay, i know what you're thinking.

"why did you watch it you fuktard?! no one forced you to watch it then whine afterwards!"

Just consider it as a guilty pleasure. Or something like that. Have you ever had the weird urge to tickle your soles just so you can scratch it after? It's a sweet torture.

 I have read several reviews about PP's numbers being compared to ASAP's, and no good comments are given to PP, not even to it's predecessor SOP. They say PP is just a failed attempt to revamp SOP. It's the same exact thing, only crazier and perhaps more confusing.

I watched intently as the opening number starts. Guess which star leads the opening. TENEN! Marian Rivera. Classy right? The crowd roars as she maneuvers herself from back to front of stage with a snake-like-Marimar-ish-GRO-ish sexy dance and when she reached the front, she pulled out a fone, and the next song you asked? What else but Lady Gaga's Telephone! Talk about Literal Translation.

Several unknown singers and dancers performed after her. And just when you think it's finished, Jolina Magdangal comes out with La diva, yup the dreamgirl/chipmunks wannabes.

http://celebritypulp.com

as much as i want to keep the disgust to myself, i can't help but gasp with disbelief as to what i am seeing. I even told my dad that there should be a law banning aging stars to do this sorts of performances for their own sake. C'mon Jolina, have you gone mad? after failing to become the philippine's lady gaga, now you end up like this? Your chick flick reign with marvin is SO OVER. You should really consider retiring, please.

Let's not forget about THE song writer, Ogie. He was wearing something that i'm pretty sure is suppose to be worn by Elmo Magalona. If i remember it correctly (I hope not), he was wearing something like a sparkly white jacket, baggy pants WITH justin bieber shades. I don't remember the song though but it was a party song, and he just stood there without moving. I think he's also aware that he's doing some crazy shit at that time. Perhaps too stressed and disoriented with the approaching baby. So i guess we can forgive him.

and my oh my, Marc Abaya... If he only knew that GMA would ask him to do Lady Gaga songs, i bet my virginity, he would never transfer. Never.

http://gmaseven.blogspot.com

Did i mention that Marian Rivera also ended the opening number? (which should never be opened at all) yup, she did what she does best, AGAIN. Look stupid, danced passionately of course. I just think she should have spent more time memorizing all the steps or perhaps learning new ones. Coz i don't know if it's just me but i'm pretty sure she only knows one particular dance step that she uses for all types of songs, whether techno, jazz or Kanto-bar type music. That pelvic dance with a 360 degree turn after every 8 beats with her nostrils opened wide. No wonder you can see deep sadness in the eyes of the audiences. They're like souls begging for mercy and freedom.

http://www.pinoyfansclub.com

After that number, here comes the hosts. I swear, if Raymond Gutierrez is gay, i'll plank on the the middle of Crossing at shaw blvd. Magkamatayan na. Hello, he can't be gay. It's impossible.

http://www.pinoyexchange.com

I also don't understand why in the world they would include Tim Yap as one of the hosts. He just doesn't fit. Seriously, if you look through his outrageous outfits and heavily waxed hair and try to concentrate on his hosting skills, There's none.

http://www.betterphilippines.com

I even think our alcoholic neighbor who is drunk 8 days a week would do hellah better hosting PP than Tim Yap. I'm just sayin.

Anyways, after a few grueling minutes (which seemed to be like days) of watching PP, ASAP finally started. BOOYAH! Even though the first thing i saw is the not-so-appealing-happy-foundation-day-uber-close-up shot of Marcelito Pomoy falsetto-ing his heart out, I already know i'm in for a show. :)

I'd rather amuse myself in the presence of the ASAP homos making girl audiences shriek with utter madness than watch PP, or like i said. Mag p-planking na lang ako. hahahaha


ako na ang stressed sa tv shows.




PS. if ever i offended you with this post, please know that deep in my heart i'm a fan of Jonalyn Viray (NOT!!) and her very successful nose job. Possibly the only thing successful in her. LOL

http://www.istorya.net

0 Hair cutter from hell

If i am a mutant (which sometimes, i really think I am), definitely my powers will be super speedy hair growth. Useful? yeah if you are a nomad living in the icy mountains of greenland. 

because of this, i spend a fair amount of money AND time in making myself look as human as possible which involves getting a haircut every 2 to 3 weeks.

Because of this, i had countless experiences with countless salons all over. Good or Bad, i always consider each as a learning experience OR as an addition to my little black book of people to kill.

Lately, my salon of choice is B**** F** in SM north, (the one in the 3rd floor). i find it convenient since it's one of the nearest OKAY salons, from my place. Although i still think their haircut is overpriced or i am simply kuripot.

Before writing this, i was thinking of another title, STYLIST from hell. But i figured, the word stylist is too much of a compliment for a poor pathetic loser such as BENJO. yup, that's his name. (please take note).

Last saturday, October 15 2011, i am prepared to get a haircut, no matter what. Since i don't usually call for an appointment, i see to it that i go there at least in the early half of the day or within the 2 hours after the mall opens. In short, i always go there only as a walk-in client which works for me 90 percent of the time.

i arrived  11:30 due to heavy traffic. I walked-in and asked the receptionists (2 girls) about the available schedule. Usually, my stylist of choice is Ken, unfortunately, he's not there until 1pm. So i just requested whoever is available. There are 2 and one is Benjo. Since he is the 1st one i saw and since he's the one who will be available the soonest, i decided to avail his services. Still, i had to wait for another 40 minutes for him to finish. At that time he was still doing a girl customer, so i decided to go to the gym and pay for my dues first.

after paying and window shopping for a bit, i went back up at the exact time of my schedule. when i got there i noticed that Benjo is already doing another customer. It's another girl. So since this is a very good day, i decided not to ruin it just because of a teeny tiny bit of inconvenience. Good vibes.. good vibes...

btw, this time i am sitting in the waiting area with another girl customer who just came in after me. 

I heard Benjo arguing with the receptionist handing him my service slip (the one where they write your name and the treatment you're getting). He was telling her that he has an appointment at 1:30 so his hands are already full.

the receptionist then asked me to take one of the seats near Benjo. So i thought they figures things out. This also means i am next. 

i seated next to him when i heard him having a bit of an argument with one of the receptionist, again.

From what i heard, the receptionist is trying to ask him (more of a begging actually) to do me next because i got there almost an hour ago. and in a very arrogant manner he said that he still has other customers in line waiting for him then he pointed at the girl in the waiting area. Yes friends, the girl that came after me. The receptionist then tried to explain to him that "I" got there first and that i already waited for an hour for this God damn haircut. To my surprise,

He shouted at her "Ewan ko sa inyo! Bahala kayo dyan!.

i can't believe what i was hearing at that moment. I also noticed that the receptionist got surprised and turned to look at me, maybe to see my reaction. And Yes, did i mention that I was sitting next to him? Yup, the seat next to his right. So THAT was me he's talking about and yes i CAN hear it, LOUD and RUDE.

In normal situations, what i would do is to stand up, kick him in the balls or call my dad and ask him to hire gunmen. I got so shocked that it took me 37 times to rewind the scenario and the things he said. I even called for all the saints and all the powers in the cosmos to try to explain to myself whether this is really happening.

indeed, it really is happening.

This time Benjo was doing the other customer behind him. Another girl.

after her, the girl that i was sitting with in the waiting area sat in the chair next to me. Again, to my surprise, Benjo approached her and with a flirty-pervert-fake smile and convo he started doing her hair. I got confused. Suddenly his assistant  poked him and pointed at me saying i'm suppose to be next. He said something unclear (and rude) and proceeded with what he's doing. 

Benjo and the receptionist argued about me again, and when i thought nothing would surprise me anymore, He shouted, "Paghintayin nyo yan! Bahala kayo". All the customers in the waiting area heard this and turned to look at me. I'm not sure but i felt a tear rolled down my left eye. Haha NO! but i swear i felt humiliated and undeserving of that kind of treatment.

His assistant even tapped me at the back as if she was trying to comfort me. This clearly means even they felt all of this is definitely an inappropriate way of treating your paying customer. (where you get your money to buy your cheap white skinny pants).

this time i asked the assistant for the manager, sadly it was the manager's day-off so i just asked for the manager's number instead. After a few seconds (i guess when Benjo was not looking) she slipped me a tiny piece of paper with the manager's number.

I am a hundred percent sure that Benjo had a clue about me asking for the manager so he started to give me a weird haunting look and ugly threatening sneer. He also said something like "makakatikim nanaman pala ko ng luto ng diyos" i guess after realizing that i am planning to complain about him, Oh oh, also when it was my time for the shampooing, did i mention that he went pass by me for at least 8 times. Talk about Hostile environment.

After all the drama, one of the other stylist named Alex who just got in did my hair. And it was good. Not to mention that he was really nice and polite. When i stood up and went to the receptionist to pay, i saw Benjo looking at me. I paid, gave Alex his tip, thanked the assistant for giving me the manager's number and was about to leave when one of the receptionist whispered something to me. 

She gave me my receipt and in a very hushed tone she said, "Sir, if you want to complain, here's another way, you can send a message to this email" pointing at the bottom portion of the receipt. She was actually pointing at the customer service email. She also said that they really do read all the message from the customers.

At this time, it became clear to me that i am not the only only one being victimized by this good-for-nothing Ricky Martin wannabe. And that i should do something about it.

He even approached the reception area right after i left. Maybe trying to sniff out some details.

I told some of my friends about this incident, and i found out that one of my buddy's that he and his older brother had the same experience with benjo and a thin gay stylist on the same salon. I also found out that Benjo was formerly assigned in the other B**** F** (the one in the bottom floor) but was transferred due to several customer complaints. 

I am now planning to speak with the manager named Rolinda whether via a phone call or maybe by sending a formal complaint letter. I will also shoot an email to the customer service hotline. Just to be sure.

i hope this serves as a warning to all unsuspecting customers. It's a shame for a big company who built their reputable name to be ruined by a single a-hole. We are not paying our hard earned cash for this kind of incompetent and unprofessional service people. They deserve to lose their jobs, and they will.

0 A not-so-sinful weekend

Naranasan mo na bang mag pray sa mall? yung tipong pray na magkakahawak kamay at nakapikit?

A few days ago, i swear that this weekend will be the most boring weekend so far.

Dahil ever since tumuntong kami dito sa US eh kasing dalas na ng pag tatalik namin ng Facebook ang aking affair with Google Map.



Syempre, dahil minsan ka lang naman pupunta dito, why not make the most out of it. In fact, every weekend ay hindi talaga ako napipirmi sa hotel. kahit nga weekdays, as long as time permits, eh rumarampa ako kung saan saan. Kesehodang bangenge ako kinabukasan sa office, o di kaya eh makipag habulan sa mga water sprinkler na nagkalat kapag inaabutan na ng pag bite ng darkness.

Sa sobrang kakatihan ng aking feet, kung san sang lupalowp na nga ako nakarating. Lalo na every weekend. Andyan ang bus papuntang chicago, na sabi ko nga eh parang pinaghalong amazing race at biggest loser. Andyan din ang  muntik akong ma rape ng magtangkang pumarty sa downtown. Nagcamping atng nagpakain sa mga insektong foreign, nag beach, at syempre kailangan ipakita ko din na meron din naman akong substance kaya di ko pinalampas ang mag sight seeing sa museums na pasabog ang mga works of art kahit di ko talaga magets minsan.

AKO ANG PHOTOGRAPHER, AKO ANG MASUSUNOD!! HAHAHA

All in all, i can say, i had my fair share of lakads and experience. PERO!! this weekend proves to be the most unkabogable.

yesterday, my co-worker and i decided to make shopping na lang instead na magpa cremate sa hotel.

at syempre madaming sale lalo na ang mga damit na pang summer (normal na damit sa pilipinas) kaya kilig na kilig ang mga mata namin sa pagiikot at pamimili. Lahat na ata na swipe ko na, ultimo company ID ko at lumang mrt card ata na swipe ko na. pati sa pwet ko tin-ry ko ding i-swipe baka mag add ng credit. wala namang kung i-t-try.

So sa kalagitnaan ng pamimili, etong kasama ko ay biglang nag disappear. nung mahanap ko, ayun nasa labas na ng store at may nakilala palang pinay. Syempre pati ako na excite dahil bihirang bihira lang kami makakita ng Filipino dito sa eden prairie. kung hindi white, dirty white lang ang nakikita namin.

at sya ay si sister Rita. Hep hep! hindi po sya madre, sya po ay isang nurse.

Si tita Rita ay isang nurse at single mom. sa New york talaga sya naka base bago sya lumipat ng Minnesotta. At as usual tayong mga Pinoy kahit saan magpunta pag nakakakita ng kapwa pinoy. SUPER CLOSE! ganun din kami, not to mention super bait ni tita Rita.

Pero ang mga sumunod na pangyayari ay di ko inasahan. Hindi sa hindi ko gusto, hindi ko lang inexpect (nag explain?). Eto pa lang si tita Rita ay isang Born-again christian, at bukod dun, isa syang missionary. So tama ka, religious si tita.

She started making kwento about how we are destined to meet each other. Ang kwento nya nga, nasa may target na sila kung saan malapit na sila halos umuwi nang biglang magaya ang anak nya na dumaan saglit sa Old navy kung saan andun naman kami.

to make the long story short, nagkaroon kami ng mailing bible study sa gitna ng mall, sa tapat ng old navy. Apat kami bale. matapos nya kaming bigyan ng mga booklets, at daily bread she asked us if it's ok kung ipagppray nya kami.


Sa pagkakataong ito, naramdaman ko na ang konting steam na lumalabas sa balat ko, opo umusok ako ng konti. Actually gusto ko nang tumakbo at gumawa ng makasalanang bagay para mapanatili ang balanse ng mundo. Pero hindi, we said "of course". Right then and there, pagkakain ng mint ni tita ay naghawak kamay na kami at nagsimula na syang mag pray. Honestly, i felt weird. Hindi ako sanay eh. at first, i was a bit shy dahil madaming dumadaan at syempre they can't help but look at us. Instead i decided to close my beautiful tantalizing eyes. and i felt peace.

It lasted for a good 5 minutes or so. After nun, she offered na ihatid kami pabalik ng hotel. which is sobrang ok dahil mahaba habang walk din sana ang gagawin namin. Ok lang din maglakad pero since madami na kaming dala mas ok na na maki hitch.

Not to mention inaya nya pa kami na pumunta sa church nila kinabukasan. At nag volunteer pa syang sunduin kami. Since wala naman kaming gagawin we said yes. Sa totoo lang medyo nag aalangan ako. it's been a while since the last time na nakapag simba ako. I can say i have faith. a strong one actually pero i don't consider myself as religious. Naniniwala kasi ako na hindi ko naman kailangan na nasa church lang para makipag usap kay God. Kahit ganito ko, i do pray a lot. Promise!

So dumating na ang kinabukasan at napuyat na nga ako kakaisip ng magandang dahilan para di sumama. Unsuccessful ang mga naisip ko na dahilan kaya oh well, sumama na lang din ako.

Ang church nila ay isang megachurch. Tipong sing laki ng PICC sa tin.

It was a huge place, at ang daming tao. of all shapes, colors and sizes. Nung bago pa nga umalis, i was hesitant dahil feeling ko under dressed ako. Pero pagdating namin dun, it feels nice to see na hindi naman sila ganun ka strict when it comes to attire or appearance. Actually madami nga dun ang naka shirts lang, yung iba naka short, at hindi lang ako ang naka skinny. haha. nagulat pa nga ako kasi merong church goer na andaming piercing at tattoo. Cool.

it was a refreshing experience kasi hindi sya typical na church. The songs are awesome. Praise song din sya pero, it sounds like the hottest indie rock o kaya naman mala jason mraz na songs. Uh-mazing. The topic that day is about divorce and marriage. Kahit hindi ako masyadong naka relate, i can still say, madami akong natutunan.

the whole service lasted for an hour and a half. It was long pero worth it. The whole church community really made us feel welcomed. bakit kamo? kasi may free lunch kami hehehe. Kidding. pero totoo, kapag guest ka, libre ang lunch mo at bongga ang lunch nila. Hindi sya yung tipong pang feeding program tulad ng inakala ko hehe.

Tita Rita also introduced us to her friends, church pastors and other filipino immigrants. It was fun. May isang pastor pa nga nag pinag pray ulit kami. It feels so good whenever he mentions my name in the prayer. It feels so personal at heartfelt. All in all, i can say i had fun. And i don't mind doing it again.

Actually, nag invite ulit si tita na sunduin kami this week after office para pumunta sa house nila. ipagluluto nya daw kami. Hay nako, i'm sure isa nanaman to sa mga pakulo nya para madala kami sa isang prayer meeting. kaasar lang. hahahahaha joke lang po. I'm really looking forward to it. Promise. bukod sa namimiss ko na ang pagkaing pinoy eh gusto ko din naman makinig sa mga stories nila. believe it or not, nakakatuwa pag nagkkwento sila.

Its refreshing to see people who can see the world in a totally different way. They see everyday things and happenings as blessings from God. Yung tipong habang nakikinig ka, marerealize mo na nangyari na din pala sayo yun, at masasabi mo sa sarili mo na "OO nga noh, blessing pala yun".

2 Double Life

Yup, buhay pa ko. And yes, my blog will live on!

Salamat sa iilan kong readers, kahit konti lang kayo at kahit alam kong kalahati sa inyo ay mga kaaway ko in real life at sumusubaybay lang para alamin kung tinitira ko kayo sa blog. Maraming Salamat pa din.

I wasn't able to publish anything due to major happenings in my life. Recent Happenings yes. Kasalukuyan kasi akong nasa malayong lugar. Tama ang hula mo Facebook friend. Andito ako sa U of S of A. at hanggang ngayon, ay wala pa ding gumagalaw sa kin (maliban na lang nung muntik akong ma-rape sa isang bar 3 weeks ago pero sa ibang post na lang k?) kaya malayo pa ko sa chansang magkamit ng green card.

Napasulat lang ako all of a sudden kasi Finally! nagkaron na din ako ng google+ account. I know, I know i'm so ewweee dahil ngaun lang ako nagkaron nun, but i still feel honored. Buti na lang at nadaan ko sa pilit si Kristian na padalhan ako ng invite.

So, while i was browsing it, i noticed, it's very similar to facebook. So hindi na ko nahirapan masyado na mag navigate. I can say, it's actually very user-friendly... or so i thought.

unlike Facebook hindi ka makakapaghanap ng account ng crush mo o kaya ng cute na aksidente mong nakita ang name. Walang random search. Kailangan alam mo ang email nya. But of course, you can always send invites, kaso nga lang may limit. Only up to 150. so hindi ako sigurado kung yun na ba ang maximum na pwede mo i-add.

since it's new, madami din silang nilagay na mga bagong features. Sa aking understanding, if you are coming up with a not so original idea, you're goal is to have the same kind of thing the original already has o kaya eh come up with additional perks na wala sila. ayun ang perfect formula of competing. Offering more than what they have and eventually beat them to a pulp. Tignan mo na lang ang ginawa ng Facebook sa Friendster. Oh di ba, gulpi-sarado.

Aminin na natin naging Jologs ang friendster. Super Jologs. It was on it's highest peak when suddenly we all wake up one day and everyone has different colorful, eye-straining wallpapers on their accounts. What's worse? yung mukha nila mismo ang nakalagay. kadiri lang di ba. That's what FB used. Simplicity.

may changes man, but it's not as drastic and not as cheap as putting glittery and animated testimonials and sometimes those changes are cool. agree?

Enough of the comparison, let's get to my real point.

Naisip ko lang kasi kanina ang busy busy mo na these days noh?

Andyan na ang facebook, may twitter ka pa. nabitin ka, gumawa ka pa ng youtube account, may tumbler ka pa, tapos di ka pa maka getover sa friendster mo, at nag mmaintain ka pa ng negosyo mo sa multiply. Tapos ngayon may google+ ka pa hinayupak ka. Kung bading ka pa, syempre may may account ka pa sa planetromeo. dahil ayaw mo ng na lo-lonely, may YM ka na, may skype ka pa, bukod pa sa office communicator mo na ginagamit mo na ding pang chika. At dahil naka BB ka, anjan pa ang mga ka-BBM mo. At dahil madami ka pang kwento may blogger account ka din o kung hindi man, wordpress ang gamit mo. Hay buti na lang nakalimutan mo na ang MySpace account mo. at hindi mo pa nadidiskubre ang iba pang social networking chenez.

Yung totoo, hindi ka ba napapagod?

Nakakatawa nga kung iisipin mo, people are making lives complicated. Kids spend more time in front of the computer developing their personalities in the most artificial ways and adults are trying to learn about it too. I guess this is what technology has to offer. Something that's new and something that is fresh. but of course we only have 24 hours in a day. meaning, we can't do it all.

something has to suffer. Personal life maybe? your relationship with God perhaps? Nah. you don't think so.


We all live a complete life. It's just that the life we are living now is powered by the internet.

right?? so go ahead, tweet you're life out. Good luck.

1 Kumusta ka Lola?

Isang malakas na sigaw ang gumising sa king pagka himbing, na sinundan ng malakas na alingawngaw ng tila  mga kaldero o pinggang nag bagsakan. Ewan ko hindi ako sigurado. Naalimpungatan ako.

Madilim pa ng magising ako. Agad kong kinapa ang gilidan ng aking unan para hanapin ang aking telepono. Wala namang bagong mensahe, wala ring tumawag. Kinse minutos bago mag alas-syete ng gabi. Madilim pa nga. Madilim na.

Nakaidlip ako. Linggo nga pala ngayon. Marahil nakatulog ako matapos Plantyahin at tiklupin ang gabundok na damit naming maganak. Eto ang tipikal na linggo. Ang araw bago pumasok. Araw na dapat pahinga ay palagi pa ding abala. 

Nakagawian ko na din naman na tulungan si Nanay sa mga gawaing bahay. Sya ang maglalaba, ako ang magsasampay. Kadalasan ako na din ang naglalaba. Magluto ng hapunan, mamalengke. Maglinis ng bahay. Maningil ng renta ng mga tenants. Ilan yan sa mga responsibilidad na itinutulong ko kay Nanay. 

Housewife ang aking inay. Ang tunay nyang pangalan, Rosalina. isinunod sa kanyang lola sa ama. Kilala rin sya ng mga kapitbahay at tenants namin bilang Aling Rosing. Sa kanyang mga kumare sya si Rosie. Masipag si nanay. Kahit isa lamang syang taong bahay, magaling syang dumiskarte, maraming raket. Ginagampanan ang kanyang pagiging negosyante kasabay ng tambak na gawaing bahay. 

Masipag si nanay. Masipag sya hanggang alas-tres ng hapon.

Dahil pag patak ng alas-tres, kasabay ng the 3 o-clock habit prayer ay sya rin naman pag sundo sa kanya ng kanyang mga amiga. At dun sila tutungo sa bahay ni Maritess. ang asawa ng hapon. Ang dating japayuki na nakapagpundar ng bahay at ng tindahan ng LPG. Dun sila kasama ng iba pa nilang amiga. Dun sila mag susugal. Hanggang kumagat ang dilim. Hanggang sunduin sila ng kani-kaniyang pamilya. Sila ang mga mag-aamiga. mga kilalang sugalera. Mga tambay ng simbahan twing linggo at suki ng sugalan sa buong linggo. Mga relihiyosang tsismosa.

pagkabangon ay agad kong sinindihan ang ilaw. Ang mga plantsahin ayun, gabundok pa din. Malamang ay pagpupuyatan ko nanamang tapusin ito. Di ko alam bakit nagawa kong tulugan ang ganito kadaming trabaho. Marahil sa sobrang pagod o dahil sa sobrang init. Ang naaalala ko kasi, katirikan na ng araw ng makauwi ako galing sa pagsisimba. Hindi pa ko nakapag tanghalian. Tapos nun, hindi ko na alam. 

Naaalala ko noon. Twing linggo, si Lola ang kasa-kasama kong magsimba. Aktibo din kasi si lola noon sa simbahan. Pagkatapos ng misa at ng novena hindi pa kagad kami uuwi. Aakayin nya pa ko papunta doon sa meeting kasama sila father. Para bang weekly reflection o sharing. Nakakabagot. Nakakantok kung minsan maliban na lang kung may magkkwento ng tungkol sa asawa nilang may kabit, anak na naging adik o di kaya naman anak na dalagang nabuntis. Dun lang nagiging buhay ang kwentuhan. Pero kadalasan boring. Kaya naman sinusuhulan ako ni lola ng mamon at yakult na bibilhin sa gilid ng simbahan bago magtungo sa kanilang pulong.

Noon yon, bago sya kunin sa min.

Pagkababa ko'y nadiskubre ko na ang pinanggalingan ng ingay. Si nanay pala ang nakabagsak.

"Hoy Ana anjan ka naman pala! Linisin mo nga to. Punyeta talaga yang mga dagang yan. Sinabi ko na kasi sa kuya mo na bumili na ng lason. Nung isang linggo ko pa binigyan ng pambili. Ang punyeta hanggang ngayon wala pa. Pinapamahayan na tayo ng mga daga. Lintek!"

"Nay ano bang lulutuin mo, ako na lang po ang gagawa."

"Hayan, initin mo yang papaitan. yang magaling mong ama gabi na nga lagi kung umuwi puro alak pa ang inuuna. punyeta talaga. Ako pa ang uutusan!"

Agad kong inilabas kay Tatay ang pulutan nila. Mga kasamahan nya pala sa trabaho ang kasama nya at lahat sila ay lasing na. Kahit si Tatay na halos buong buhay nang umiinom, ay nakakapagtakang tinatablan pa din ng espirito ng alak. 

Si Ronaldo Jr. ang nagiisang anak ng mag asawang Manalastas. Tubong Catanduanes, Bicol. Sila ay nagtungo ng Maynila nang sya ay tumuntong na ng High skul. Dahil nag iisang anak, madalas ay sunod sa layaw ang binata. Di rin nagtagal ng sya ay mabarkada. Natuto magbisyo at magbulakbol sa eskwela. Sa unang taon ng Kolehiyo, umuwi na lang sya isang araw na kasama ang kanyang nobya, at mga magulang nito. Buntis si babae at kailangan nya itong panagutan. Ang kwento ng Lola, dahil daw sa sama ng loob sa kanyang Junior kaya namatay ang Lolo.

Kahit may pamilya na, patuloy pa din daw nagbuhay binata ang aking tatay. Kaya naman kahit nagiging pabigat na ay di pa rin sya matiis ng lola. Doon pa rin sa kanyang mumunting bahay tumira, kahati pati sa kakarampot na kinikita ng matanda.

Masyadong magiliw at mapagpasensya ang aking Lola. Naaalala ko noon, sa tuwing uuwi ng lango sa alak ang tatay, madalas syang pagsaraduhan ng kwarto ni nanay. Ang sabi nya'y ayaw nya daw mangamoy alak ang kanyang bagong palit na kobre kama. Sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, si Lola ang matiyagang nag aalaga kay tatay. Gigising ito sa kalaliman ng gabi upang punasan sya at ipagtimpla ng kape o pakainin ng sopas hanggang sa mahimasmasan. 

Kadalasan pa ay dun na ito sa kwarto nya papatulugin. Ang kawawang matanda naman ang magdamag na magpapaypay o kaya'y magpupunas sa lasing na pobre.

Ngayon, sa tuwing malalasing si tatay, kadalasan ay sa garahe na sya aabutan ng pagputok ng araw. Pinagbubuksan lang sya ng Nanay ng pintuan kapag gabi ng akinse o kaya ay a-trenta. Kapag ganun, kahit anong oras umuwi si Tatay hinding hindi makakatulog ang nanay.

Ang malas lang ni kuya. Nung sya na ang natutong magpaka lango sa alak at umuwi ng disoras ng gabi, wala ng magaalaga sa kanya. Dahil kinuha na sa min si Lola. Kaya ayun ang loko, kesa daw umuwi sya ng lasing eh kung sa kani kaninong bahay na lang nagpapalipas ng gabi.

Si kuya ang panganay namin. Pero hindi sya ang bunga ng pagkakadisgrasya ni tatay kay nanay. Nang magpakasal kasi sina Nay at tatay, nagbago ang isip ni pamilya ni nanay. Gusto nila na tapusin muna ni nanay ang kolehiyo. Pero dahil ayaw nila ng karagdagang kahihiyan kapag pumasok si nanay ng malaki ang tiyan. Pinalaglag nila ang panganay namin. Hindi rin naman nakatapos si nanay. Kusa na rin syang tumigil ng mabuntis ulit sya sa kanyang ikalawang taon sa kolehiyo.

"pssst. Oi Ana, si nanay anjan ba?"

Lumingon ako at nakita ko ang aking magaling na kapatid. Sa wakas matapos ang 3 araw na di paguwi, naiisipan nya na din magpakita.

"Buti naman at naisipan mo pang umuwi??! Punyeta kang bata ka! Saan ka nanaman ba nag susuot? Yung perang pinampapabili ko ng lason sa daga asan na?! Napurnada mo na naman ano?!!! sinasabi ko na nga ba! Punyeta, manang mana ka talaga sa ama mo! wala na kayong ginawang tama! Mga walang silbi!!"

agad agad nagmadali paakyat ang kuya. Mabilis na kumaripas na tamang tama lang para hindi sya tamaan ng lumilipad na bakya ni nanay paakyat sa kanyang kwarto para magkulong. 

Mabait ang kuya ko. Dahil na rin siguro dadalawa lang kami hindi na rin kami masyadong nag aaway. Mabait sya. Maliban lang nung panahong isinanla nya ang relo kong baby G na regalo ng ninang ko sa kin. Maliban na lang din nung nakita ko syang humihithit ng damo sa likod ng plaza kasama ng mga tambay sa kabilang baranggay. Mabait naman sya at malambing, maliban na lang din nung panahong tinutukan nya ko ng kitchen knife at binantaang papatayin kapag sinumbong kong may nakita akong parang tawas na nakatago sa lumang lalagyan ng hairwax sa may altar sa kwarto nya. Malambing syang kuya maliban na lang noong nahuli ko syang nakasilip sa may kisame nung isang hapon na naliligo ako. Mabait ang kuya ko.

Masaya ang aming pamilya. May mga panahon nga lang na namimiss ko ang lola ko. Sya lang kasi ang kakampi ko noon. Mag tatatlong buwan na din na mamatay si Lola. Biyernes noon pagkauwi ko galing sa eskwela. Maraming tao sa bahay. Hindi dahil sa tipikal na inuman o sugalan. Natagpuan daw si lola na nakalupaypay. Naglalaway. Wala nang buhay. 

Bago pa man yon, magdadalawang taon na din naman ng una kaming iwan ng Lola. Kasama namin pero wala na talaga sya. Kinuha sya ng sakit na Alzheimer's. Nagmistula na lang syang isang katawan na walang kaluluwa. Hindi na nakakakilala. Mainitin ang ulo. Isip bata.

May mga panahon na normal sya. Walang sumpong. Matino ang pagiisip. Pero habang tumatagal palala ng palala. Araw lang ang binilang ng nagmistula syang sanggol. Hindi na nya kayang alagaan ang sarili nya. 

Sa kasamaang palad. Wala sa pamilya ang napagpasahan ni Lola ng kanyang mahabang pasensya. Noong una, kahit papano ay naaalalayan pa sya. Si Tatay ang naghahatid sa kanya sa kwarto. Gagamitin nya na din ang pagkakataon na yon para hanapin ang titulo ng bahay o kung anu ano pa mang mga dokumento sa mga gamit ng lola. Kung minsan si Kuya din ang naghahatid ng pagkain ni Lola sa kwarto. Lingid sa kaalaman ng matanda, isa-isa na rin nawawala ang mga pinakaingat-ingatang iilang gamit.

Wala namang masyadong yaman ang matanda. Walang ipapamana kundi ang mismong lupang tinitirhan namin. Walang mga alahas, walang ipon o kung ano pa man. Siguro marahil na din sa buong buhay nyang pagkayod na naubos lang sa pagsuporta sa pamilya ng kanyang Unico Hijo.

Ito na din ang naging dahilan kung bakit sa paningin ng aking Nanay, isa na lamang syang pabigat. Una inilipat nya ang matanda sa isang maliit na kwarto sa may kusina. Ang dating maid's quarters na ginawa na lamang tambakan ng mga lumang gamit. Inalis ang ilang tambak, winalisan ng konti, nilatagan ng banig at naging bagong himlayan na ng matanda. Mas mabuti na daw yun para malapit sa kusina o sa banyo at hindi na mahirapan kung dudumi ang matanda o kapag oras ng pagkain nya.

Madalas ko syang mapanaginipan. Pero hindi ko na ito maalala. Madalas ay magigising na lang ako na walang kahit anong matandaan tungkol sa nangyari bago natulog. Siguro kagustuhan ko na din ito. Kagustuhan kong burahin ang mga mapapait na ala-ala. Yung mga hindi maganda. Yung mga masakit at pangit na alaala.

Yung mga ala-ala ng pag maltrato nila kay lola.Yung pag hampas sa kanya nang minsan na-ihi sya sa kanyang salawal. Yung pagsipa sa kanya ng matabig nya ang kanyang kainan. Yung panahon na sa sobrang pangungulit nya para humingi ng inumin, binigyan sya ng isang basong bagong kulong tubig at sa sobrang uhaw ay halos magpaltos ang bunganga at dila ng aking Lola. Yung pagpaso sa kanya ng sigarilyo ng ayaw nyang bumangon para mapaliguan. Nung kalbuhin sya dahil sya daw ang nagkakalat ng galis at kung ano anong pang sakit sa balat. Yung ala-ala ng makita ko syang nakapulupot sa isang sulok, tahimik na umiiyak. Yung makita ko kung paano nya kainin ang pasalubong kong mamon dahil hindi sya pinakain magdamag. Yung makita ko syang mahimbing na natutulog sa kanyang banig na natuyuan na din ng sarili nyang ihi at dumi.

Siguro nga mas pinili kong makalimot. 

Kinalimutan ko na din na ako ang madalas utusan ni nanay na bumili ng lason sa daga. Twing Linggo matapos magsimba. 

Kinalimutan ko na din ang itsura ng bote ng lason na wala ng laman sa tabi ng kainan ni lola. 

Sa di ko maipaliwanag na dahilan, hindi ako malungkot sa sinapit nya. Sa totoo lang. Masaya ako. 

Malaya ka na Lola. Pinalaya na kita.. 

http://buhaykalsada.multiply.com

6 La visa Kaloka: My US Visa Adventures

"A man's feet must be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world"

-George Santayana

(Sino yun?)

Believe it or not. I am patriotic..... in a sense. Pero Hindi ako die hard fan. Hindi ko balak magpa tattoo ng 3 stars and a sun, o ng philipine flag. Magsuot ng panty na gawa sa Pinya Fiber. I don't eat bangus, at kung minsan kumekemblar ako ng mas masahol pa sa malansang isda. ayoko din magsuot ng t-shirt, polo shirt, bag, pants, panty o kung anu pa mang pwedeng lagyan ng YELLOW RIBBON.

http://www.dipity.com/tickr/Flickr_astig/

One thing am sure of, wala akong balak mangibang bansa.

Noong 2005, most people thought that it's the year of the rooster. But no, it is the year of nursing. For almost all my friends from high school decided to take up nursing in college, syempre dahil na din sa pag a-aim na makapag work abroad. As for me, ayoko talaga. Bukod sa Pagbibigay ng libreng circumcision sa mga 18 and above at pag conduct ng sperm letting sa bawat baranggay, i don't find blood, and other medical related things appealing.

http://www.pinoy-ofw.com

So i took up Accoun-ting-inang yan. Lol.

Like i said, going abroad is not really part of my priorities. Siguro sumasagi lang sya sa isip ko kung bakasyon ang paguusapan. Mga tipong hongkong lang or thailand o kahit singapore. Kaya it was a surprise when i found out i will be sent to US for roughly around 2 months. Gosh! Sa totoo lang, i am not that excited, really.

It's an opportunity, yes, but knowing that you will be stepping out of your comfort zone is kinda nerve wracking. Alam mo yung ganung feeling. Ikaw lang mag isa sa isang unknown place, with unknown people, unknown standards, unknown everything. Yung feeling na bago ka bumili ng kahit ano eh magccompute ka muna:

x = dollar price
y = dollar conversion to peso
n= total amount in peso

n = x (y)

Shet di ba. Pero since no choice at para DAW ito sa ikabubuti ko in the future. GO na. At painstakingly, inasikaso ko ang mga dokumento. kesehoda, mangamkam ng mga ari-arian para addional documents kuno. bakit? Kasi, kakailanganin ko ito sa pag aapply ni US Visa, at tulad ng napanood natin sa movie ni Toni at Sam. MARAMI ANG NADEDENY.

Nakakahiya daw ang ma deny ng visa. Pero sa na-witness ko. Hindi nakakahiya. kundi.... Nakakapagod at masakit sa bulsa. $150 ang bayad sa pagaapply ng visa (see formula above) , not to mention ang hirap ng pagkuha ng sked, pag process ng mga kailangang document at ang mismong pakikpag sapalaran sa IMBA-SSY.

http://www.canstockphoto.com/denied-visa-on-passport-3788581.html

Buti na lang, hindi ako ang nagbayad. hindi rin ako ang nagpa sked. Ang naging role ko lang ay ang mag fill-out ng isang Ream na mga forms, pumunta sa embassy at harapin ang Consul na nakaka dugo ng pwet. yup hindi na uso ang nosebleed. Kundi pwet, internal hemorrhage ang epekto.

So dumating ang aking confirmation schedule. Monday, 6:30. I have weekend to prepare. Pero Pak na Pak, dumating naman ang pinsan kong half british half UK. At syempre since ako lang ang pwedeng sumama sa kanya mag clubbing dahil inatake ng dysmenorrhea ang Lola ko ayun bangenge ako ng buong weekend. Ni Hindi ko man lang na browse ang mga documents at letters ko. Gudlak kung ano ang itatanong ng Cone-soul.

Dumating ang madaling araw ng monday. Ang target ko, makarating dun ng 5am. Matapos maligo, magbihis ng conyong conyo, nag taxi. Nakarating ako dun ng quarter to 6. But no worries. Madami na talagang tao pero ok lang yon. PLEASE TAKE NOTE!! Hindi mo kailangang pumunta dun ng 2 hours o kahit 1 hour before your schedule dahil, On time sila. Kung anong oras ang schedule mo, dun lang sila magpapapasok. At dahil nga din sa american discipline, wag kang mag alala, saktong numbers lang per schedule. kaya walang unahang magaganap sa pila.

http://tonyocruz.com/?p=2931

Sabi nga nila mahigpit ang security sa embassy. I-google mo na lang ang mga bawal dalhin tulad ng kahit anong electronic device. Basta naaalala ko nung nakapila na ko para pumasok, nag announce si Manong security na bawal ang kahit anong liquid at MAKAKAIN. Alam ko na yun syempre kaya nga wala akong dalang kahit ano. mga ilang hakbang na lang ako ng maalala ko na nag nenok nga pala me ng mga candy para ibaon in case magutom o mahilo. Pak, wala pa naman basurahan sa paligid, at baka gulpihin naman ako kapag hinagis ko ito sa Roxas blvd. Buti na lang sa kalagitnaan ng napaka neat na damuhan ng tapat ng embassy, may nakapag trip na magsunog ng mga dahon kaya nakahanap ako ng tapunan. sa wakas nakapasok na din. Ang daming entrance. Sa unang guard, sa mga kumukuha ng appointment at papers, sa xray, sa mga mangangapkap ulit, at sa counter na magbibigay ng number. Matapos ang lahat ng yan, nasa labas ka pa din. Pag pinapila na para pumasok sa loob, meron nanamang xray tapos mangangapkap ulit.

http://janeuymatiao.com/2011/05/06/us-embassy-manila-visas/

Shet nung nasa loob na ko, di ko mapakiwari ang kaba. kahit anong relax ko at mental preparation, kakabahan ka pa din talaga. at ayun tinuro ako sa isang window, ENGLISH MODE ON!!! pero di pa pala, aayusin pa lang ang papers, sa sumunod na window, ENGLISH MODE ON!!! di pa rin pala, kukunan ka lang ng finger prints. at sa wakas dun na sa huling window. Sa mga Consul.

http://janeuymatiao.com/2011/05/06/us-embassy-manila-visas/

Sure na to kasi naririnig ko na ang nagaganap na interview. dun kasi ako naupo malapit sa mga consul na para sa mga seaman (seafarers).

at nagimbal ako sa mga sumunod na pangyayari. Habang naghihintay ay naririnig ko ang mga nagaganap na interview sa pagitan ng mga consul at mga seaman. HONGSUNGEEEEETTTT ng mga consul nila. Lalo na yung girl na tawagin nating si CHUN LI dahil sya ay chinese-american.

ilan lang to sa mga scenario

Chun-Li: What's the name of your ship? <SUPERSLANG>
Sea Manong: huh???!!?!?
C: What's the name of your ship?
S: <di pa din ata narinig>
C: <tinodo ang volume at> I SAID, WHAT'S THE NAME OF YER SHIP!!

C: what's your position in your ship?
S: Pastry chef
C: what's the most popular cake?
S: Chocolate cake
C: what type of cocoa do you use
S: < di ko narinig>
C: what brand?
S:...........
C: how big is the packaging?
>and a lot more

C: where are you assigned in your ship?
S: dishwashing
C: in the Dishwasher, how many glasses can you wash in one sitting??
S: <faint>

C: what's the signal for fire?
S: Fire alarm.
C: what's the sound of the fire alarm
S: It's loud ......
C: how does it sound? describe it
S: <WTF????!!!!!>

yang huling tanungan ay nung nasa pila na ko sa consul ko, i swear inexpect ko any minute eh biglang sisigaw dun si manong na katunog ng sirena ng bumbero. At promise sa dami ng mga seaman na dumaan kay chun-Li, ilan lang ang na-approve.

Kaya imaginin mo na lang ang kaba ko nung ako na ang humarap sa Consul ko. Yung nauna pa sa kin na deny din. HUHU. Pero sabi nga nila dapat grace under pressure. Kaya nung turn ko na, with all smiles ko syang binati ng GOOD MORNING! pero di man lang nya ko nilingon.

Si Mr.Consul ay blonde, blue eyed, medyo balding pero pogi. Pure Caucasian. May pagka mala Malfoy ng Harry Potter. Mukang stiff at masungit. Pagkabati ko nagulat ako ng sabihin nyang.

"Sandali lang huh, may tapusin pa akow." Shocked! Amazed! Hindi po sya jejemon ok, ganyan lang ka slang ang pagbigkas nya.

and i was like "Ok".

MrConsul: What's your full name?
me answer
MrConsul: Your Birthday?
me answer
MrConsul: Purpose?
me answer
MrConsul: How much is your monthly salary?
me answer: ___________ million pesos

silence...................

MrConsul: Ok
silence...................

Me still smiling that stiff smile <confused>

MrConsul: padala namin iyong visa sa iyo opisina.


Me: I'm good?


MrConsul: Oo opisina tama ba? office?


me: Great! Thanks!


i mean salamat!

at makalipas ang ilang araw dumating na din ang visa ko. yahoo.
 pero hanggang ngayon di ko pa din maintindihan, bakit ganun ang treatment sa mga seaman at sa iba pang na deny dun sa embassy. As if lahat ng tao na gustong pumunta dun ay para mag TNT o may gagawing masama.

Siguro dapat tayo sa pilipinas mag issue din ng visa sa gustong pumasok. At swear mag aapply akong Consul

at ito ang ilan sa mga magiging linya ko

Bb. Consul: Full name?
Bb. Consul: How BIG? ...............................is your feet?
Bb. Consul: Do you shower everyday????!!!!!
Bb. Consul: Do you soap yourself????
Bb. Consul: how about deodorant???
Bb. Consul: Do you have any intentions not to change clothes?????!!! Answer me!!!

Bb. Consul: Speak in Filipino!!! pakshet, don't push me!!!! DENIED!!!! grrr.