5 The modern Relihiyoso

The Philippines is the biggest catholic country in Asia, all thanks to the Spaniards who introduced Christianity and Slavery at the same time.

Ironic right? I can just imagine a scene where A Spanish matriarch is beating the crap out of a pinoy muchacha while reciting the Hail Mary. Indeed it's already fun in the Philippines 100 something years ago.

As time progresses and technology advances, truly, our religious views and traditions also changed. For the better? hmmm that i can't tell.

But here are some of the obvious characteristics that you probably have witnessed in the past up to the present. It's up to you to decide and give judgment.

1) The modern Relihiyoso attends Mass at the mall.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/treetop_apple_juice/29932614/

I wonder which one came to their minds first, the shopping or the churching.

2) Wears racy outfits when attending the mass.

Spaghetti strap, micro skirt, sandos, backless, plunging neckline, tube top, see-through blouse, P*k2x shorts. Name it and they'll wear it

3) Wishes that they'll come up with flavored Oscha

It gets kinda boring to eat something that has only 1 flavor all the time. They should consider putting some variety to it. Chocolate flavor? Cinnamon? Adobong mani? Perhaps they should come up with a low-fat oscha for the weight watchers

 

4) Attends simbang gabi to get their wishes.

Longing for a boyfriend? Preparing for a board exam? Wishes to win the lottery? No problem, just make sure you'll be able to attend all 9 and your wish will come true.

5) Filters what to confess

Some truly believes that some secrets are meant to be kept secrets. "baka mamaya tsismoso si Father noh".

motifake.com

6) Gives to the church but not to the homeless

For sure, nobody wants to go to an un-airconditioned church. It's just too hot to concentrate on praying, AND that golden throne and the bullet car ain't cheap.

7) Believes that there's a specific Patron saint for everything

even the heavens believe in division of labor. So God appointed saints to help him out. For abdominal pains? we have Saint Erasmus. For Actors, Saint Genesius. For bus drivers, Saint Christopher. 

For the beckies, SANRIO. :)

8) Will do anything to get their hands (or handkerchief) on the black nazarene.

http://blogs.reuters.com/photographers-blog/2011/01/18/feast-of-the-black-nazarene/

Cooler than any Rock concert, more violent than a UFC fight. It's an annual catholic thing which shows how serious Filipinos are with their religion. It's a belief that whoever touches the Nazarene or has something that touched it like a towel or hanky, is in for a blessing. 

I guess that's why it doesn't matter if they step on someone else's face OR guts. Knock someone out or push them to that manhole just to lay a finger on the nazarene. HMMM IRONIC INDEED.