1 The deathly Office

Was finally able to watch the last installment of Harry Potter, at infernes ok sya dahil nakapagsabi nanaman ako ng "UH-mazing" na 70 decibels loud after ng movie.

well guys, this ain't a movie review. Sorry to disappoint you. It's just that everytime I find it hard to write something, i try to dwell on recent memories and try to tell it NOT as it is. And sadly it's Harry Potter.

May pagka weirdo ako, allergic ako sa mainstream lalo na sa movies o kaya songs. For me kasi, pag masyadong napapagusapan ang isang bagay, i only find the thing overrated and disappointing not because it's awful but I simply expected too much of everything. Mas masarap idiscover ang mga bagay na untouched o virgin (tulad ko hahaha). I feel more passionate in appreciating it in its purest form and not just because of peer pressure.

Deathly office dahil kasalukuyan, ang opisina ko ay puno ng death o gusto kong punuin ng death. basta something to that effect. Korny lang di ba. Bigla ko na lang na realize na we find Harry Potter's life very magical and out of this world, when in reality we are all harry potter's in our own rights.

Harry Potter dahil napapaligidan tayo ng mga magical creatures all over the place. Wizards and B*tches na walang good and bad side. what's important is if they are on your side. Tama naman di ba?

here's the scenario bago ka sa office. You will now enter a new unfamiliar realm. And in your mind, you hear voldemort saying : "the boy who lived has come to die". and your adventure begins.

http://www.fanpop.com/spots/harry-potter/images/14918806/title/ron-hermione-hp-dh-photo

the RON and HERMIONE character- amidst all the troubles and dangers that awaits you, you will find these people. Sila ang mga die-hard fans mo, angels in disguise, the misery groupmates or simply called friends. Most of them kung mapapansin ay halos same age-bracket mo. you may find others who are older or younger pero iba pa din ang bond with people of your age. May sarili kayong trip at malamang parepareho kayong pinag ttripan ng mga nakakatanda. The catch, since package deal kayo, damay ka na din sa mga problema o issue ng isa.

http://www.giantbomb.com/albus-dumbledore/94-5158/

the DUMBLEDORE character /the headmaster - in every organization makakakita ka ng ganito. Sila kadalasan ang itinuturi mong mentor o iyong guide. whenever something awful comes up, hindi ka matatahimik not unless you hear what he has to say. His words of wisdom brings you confidence and a sense of calmness. Kailangan mo pa din maging objective all the time. yer not'a puhppet yeh know. Beware, these kinds are very manipulative people. Di naman nila mararating ang kanilang current position if not for their persuasive powers. Anyway, you can still learn a lot from these guys.

http://digitalcitizen.ca

the SNAPE people - these are your seniors. Sila yung may pagka stiff paminsan minsan. Controlling. O kaya naman simpleng masungit. Mahirap makapalagayang loob kasi malakas pa sa palo ng baklameter ko ang mood swing nila. With their actions and sharp words, di mahirap isipin na super hate ka nila. But you have to look beyond that. Kadalasan kasi, yan para sa kanila ang most effective way to mold you to something better. Note to self, in dealing with this characters, absorb everything they teach you, and ignore the unnecessary PMS. :)

http://www.fanpop.com

the HAGRID of all times - No place is complete without this guys. Sila ang mga typical na mabait na makikilala mo na always willing to give a hand on things, but only to things na kaya ng powers nila. They are not the brightest of the stars and these are the characters you often forget along the way. They might easily blend in the background but do not undermine their pure heart and trustworthiness. 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com

the GODFATHER / GODMOTHER - these are probably your former boss, a former mentor or teacher na you always seek advise about almost anything. They are the ones you are most comfortable with kahit minsan di naman na sila talaga connected sa iyong current issue. Simply put, masyado mong vina-value ang kanilang mga advise, kaya madalas sila din ang una mong pinag susumbungan.

the immortal VOLDEMORT character - these may be common or super rare for some. Pero ito ang mga taong maituturi mong mortal na kaaway mula umpisa hanggang dulo. At oo, bawat chapter ng buhay mo ay ginugulo nya. Be alert, this type may appear human at first but soon it will reveal it's true form. A monster. Kung oobserbahan, kadalasan ng mga ganitong uri ng tao ang pangit talaga na mas nakakadagdag sa Hate factor. The only way to stop them, BEAT THEM TO A PULP.

oh tama na to, mahaba na masyado at masyado nang geeky. I hate doing lists talaga, it's so addictive, you just can't effing stop. Pero kahit malakas maka-harry potter itong post, mas ok na to kesa magsulat ako ng top favorite orgasmic blogs ko, kahit wala namang nagtatanong sa kin dahil lang umaasa akong isama din nila ko sa list nila o kaya eh mapansin ako ng crush kong blogger hehehe. Saka ko na lang gagawin yun pag hindi na rin sya mainstream hehehe

tsup mwah dogstyle! 

4 Unknown-imous Chismosa

You're a blogger, and you wake up one day and you realize that you can't access your blog anymore. You managed to view it, but to your surprise, the blog that you labored your time and energy with, bears a name that is not yours. What would you feel? how would you react?

<English-Off>

Mga ilang araw ang nakalipas, nakwento ko po sa inyo ang pagsali ko sa isang essay writing sa newsletter ng former officemate ko. Balikan mo dito!!!

Kahapon nakatanggap ako ng phone call galing sa kanya. Good news! Napili ang essay ko at mapupublish sya sa kanilang dyaryo. Exposure toh men. hehe. Bad news, naisip nila na baka daw may sumilip sa pagsali ko since outside ako ng organization nila. Actually di ako sure kung may rule ba about dun na nagsabing strictly within the organization ang pwedeng maging participants. Basta nagsulat lang ako.

Sila kasi ay dating part ng company ko (akin talaga?). Kaso na acquire sila ng bagong entity kaya technically seperate na sila mula sa min. Pero dahil nasa transitioning stage pa naman kami, maituturi pa ding magkakasama pa din kami.

So ayun nga, ang naisip nyang solusyon dito ay ang ipangalan ang essay ko sa ibang tao.

and i was like....................................................................................................................... for a few seconds. Like mga 6 seconds.

i was disappointed. nakakalungkot. Hindi ko naman inexpect o in-asume na mapipili o mananalo yung shit na sinulat ko. Pero kahit papano nag exert pa din naman ako ng effort dun. Sa totoo lang bawat sulat ko ay itinuturi kong anak o kaya naman Tae. Anak dahil, nag labor ako tapos iniri ko sya ng pagka hirap hirap. Tae din minsan kasi iniri ko pa din sya pero di nga lang ganun ka cute. But nonetheless, iniluwal mo pa din sya sa mundo. Kaya sa twing nakakabuo ako ng post or kahit anung essay o drawing. Proud ako, kahit minsan ako lang nakaka appreciate nun.

Hindi naman ako masyadong na sad dun sa news. Di nga lang sya isang nakakatuwang bagay. I was caught in a situation that i have to choose whether, i share that thing to the world but not gaining any credit OR to keep it to myself with no one to share it to.

After a while naisip ko, ito yung mga moment na walang lugar para sa pagiging selfish.
knowing na kapag may nakabasa nun, pwedeng may matuwa ng kahit ilang seconds lang o better may ma inspire. Kapag nagkaganun, hindi yun matutumbasan ng kahit anong papuri o kaya prizes.

sa buhay ng isang pintor, manunulat, photographer, o kahit simpleng chismosa

meron tayong choice. ang maging katulad ni Tita Cristy, popular pero kontrobersyal o kaya tulad ni Bob Ong, idol ng marami pero Unknown.

image from PEP.PH

pero wag kang plastik, mas ok pa din kung may prize, at popularity haha.

tsup mwah helicopter. :)

5 Copy-pasted Dreams

 Got an email from a former officemate. Pinapagsulat nya ko ng essay, kasi daw may essay writing contest daw ang kanilang bagong company newletter. Ang theme ay "Dreams". 

Sa isip ko naman, Hala, anu naman alam ko sa dreams. Kung wet dreams pa sana, kahit isang buong newsletter o pocketbook pa yan, makakapaglimbag ako kahit ngayon na. Isang shembot lang. Pero yung totoong dreams waley masyado. Ganun ata talaga pag stressed ka madalas, kung hindi nightmares o wet dreams, mga dreams na hindi mo mapakiwari. Pag gising mo mababadtrip ka lang kasi di mo mainterpret.

Bakit nanaginip ka na ba na kinain ka ng polar bear habang namamasyal sa zoo? o kaya nakipaglaban sa mga ufo na kumukuha sa mga tao dahil nasa akin ang bato ni darna? o kaya eh nakipaglaban sa zombie na dati mong kapitbahay at ang weapon mo lang ay kutsara at tinidor? NO JOKE napanaginipan ko yan. O dba, parang tanga lang.

Pero yung dreams na tunitukoy sa essay writing ay yung dream na pangarap. Lagpas lagpas na nga ako sa deadline pero since committee naman si friendship, may i break na ng rules.

i-sh-share ko lang. Walang pilitan. pwede mag skip read. digital naman ang karma, tutubuan ka ng ikatlong utong sa gilid ng lips hahaha.

PS - wag kang mag expect. 10 minutes ko lang yan sinulat. promise. OK mga 12 minutes.

PS-S - Pag may nakita kang wrong grammar, read "PS". Yan po minsan ang downside ng sobrang alindog

PS-S - Pag napangitan ka, wag ka ng maingay OKayyyyyy.. sa tin sa tin na lang please. haha. kesa naman Emo ang i-post ko. 

eto na! 

Copy-pasted dreams

                I grew up watching little Ms. Philippines as my dearest mother is a fanatic of Eat Bulaga. Luckily, watching every episode of this mini beauty pageant was not enough to influence me to dream of becoming a beauty queen. Not that at least, thank God.

But one of the fondest memories I had from that show is the immortal question of grown-ups to kids. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

I know you remember this too, from your Lolo and Lola, balik-bayan uncle, and long lost God parents, they never fail to ask this question. I know you still remember what you answered way back. It’s easy. You just have to choose among these professions. A doctor, A lawyer, An engineer, A teacher, a fireman or you simply want to work in an office, nothing more nothing less. You just have to copy and then paste. No cute kid in their right mind would answer, I want to be a nurse and go abroad, I want to be a call center agent, I want to run for politics for the pork barrel or I want to be the star dancer for the sexbomb girls. Saying that would mean you’ll have less Aguinaldos on Christmas OR people will just think you have autism.

But when I was a kid, I answered differently.

Every night one of my cousin’s hobbies is to bring me to a local Sari-sari store with a comb as a microphone. Once positioned, my performance begins. After a few song and dance numbers and a round of applause from my regular audience the now happy old tindera will let me in the store and ask me to help myself over her candies and chips. Then came the question. “Jade, what do you want to be when you grow up?”.

I would answer back, “I WANT TO BE RICH”. Plain and simple. Then one of the startled audience would ask “why??”

Then, I would simply throw them my cutest smile and with all innocence, I would say, I want to be rich so when I grow up, I can have my own hospital, my own lawyer and have my own office.

Back then, that was my definition of becoming successful. To have tons of cash that the garden salad in my mansion would be made of dollars instead of cabbages.

 Now I am 21 turning 22. I have small ears so most people say I won’t live long.  And the sad fact is, I still don’t have my millions and I bet it’ll be a long way getting there.

We all have dreams when we were little, and these dreams are modified as we grow older. Looking back, I realized that part of success is fulfilling our dreams, but in reality it doesn’t  come all at one time in a big fancy box with a big red ribbon. Success develops inside us. Being contented with where you are at, but still finding ways to challenge yourself to achieve more. Learning and being learned from is what dreaming and fulfilling dreams is.

I am making my childhood dreams come true, and along the process I realized I am fulfilling more than those I have dreamt of. And yes, those millions can wait a bit more. J

Jade Tan

July 6, 2011 – 3:51 am

Jaderated.blogspot.com

>>>>> OK tapos na! move on. isipin na parang walang nangyari. Tsup tsup mwah gangbang!

5 Rest In Peace

This is fiction

or not.

it depends how you see it.

a reality in one person's mind is not necessarily a truth perceived by another.

for it is distorted by that person's beliefs, biases and motives that the other will see it only as vague and entertaining as an abstract painting.

so let's begin.

I received the results of my medical exam. For quite some time, I've been trying to hide my fears and anxieties deep within my subconscious, but today, they were dugged up, and now being shoved at my face.

I will not bother to share the details, for you may not care and as i myself finds it hard to understand the technicalities used by that quack of a doctor. To summarize, i will die within 5 years.

5 years is a guesstimate, whether it's long or short, you be the judge. For a newly convicted prisoner, 5 years is a lifetime, for a dying person, i doubt if he will even bother counting.

i spent a few minutes reading it, googled some stuff, and for a good 10 times, i checked whether it is really my name that's printed in the front page. Unfortunately it's mine. The moment i read the diagnosis, i know it's mine for i already have a history of the findings, but this time it has gotten worse. It's like living with a time bomb. No counter, no tiktoks, no warning, just an unexpected explosion that will tore me to an unidentifiable lump of flesh. Now i'm exaggerating.

Will i die a painful death? Will i be spending a few weeks in the hospital bed? are they going to open me up? who's going to show up in the hospital? what will be my last lines? will someone unexpected reveal his true feelings for me? Or will i drop dead in front of an unknown crowd? I really don't know.

I spent the weekend alone. I like it that way. No gimmicks, no partying except for a few errands necessary to make my remaining stay on earth smooth sailing. It's just me, the internet, and silence. This way i can think clearly, talk to myself, plan things. AND, not to mention not even a single close friend bothered asking me out so i have nowhere to go to, pathetic right? I guess they're just too busy with they're own plans and sadly i'm no longer part of it.

They say truth and peace lies on the lips of a dying person. 

Also, when you are dying, you tend to forgive all the people you hate, you reveal everything, you want to see everyone. BUT not in my case.

I will still hate, i will still hide things, and i still don't want to see some people, til Death and beyond.

I guess Resting in peace is really not for everyone. 

And in my epitaph you will read,

 "fuck you all".